on taking people for granted

I write because....

I write because I need to

Because my thoughts orbit the way that forgotten luggage circles the belt

It's a pattern that will persist if not released

Writing is a release

When I liberate myself of the inane notion that it has to be perfect

My pen drags my hand across the paper the way a leashed dog walks its owner

I'm left with little choice but to smile from the inside out

 I write because I have story

We all have a story

Writing is my lingua franca

The means by which I connect deeply with others

 Writing is also one of the more difficult things I endeavor to do

I must dig deep to tap the bravery stores if I am to write it all out

Even though I know that I don’t have to share it

But isn't it through sharing our stories that we grow?

I'm grateful to the ones who have gone before me

who were willing to light the way with their experience, strength and hope

Am I willing to do the same?

 But these inconvenient fears of telling my story cause me to edit

Edit until I no longer recognized my own verse

Parts of it,  I determine, are not fit…not for public consumption anyway

This is the scrolling marquee of my thoughts

 But is that really true?

No one gets through this life unscathed

We all bring with us a mixed bag of joy and tragedy

So is it the fear of sharing the proverbial baggage or of how others will react that keeps the cap on the pen?

I ponder this question to the point of needlessly squandering my time before there is the epiphany

 Writing isn't about putting it out there for feedback, reactions or acceptance

Writing is about meeting a need that is as basic as drawing my next breathe

It's about allowing my head, soul and pen to find a united cadence

Recognizing when my muse lands gently on my shoulder to accompany me on the journey

My rhythm gains pace as I open myself to the possibilities of a blank page.

When expectations of a finished product are removed a door is flung open and the words flow

Life is captured in volumes of lined paper, inking what time has revealed and fate has offered

 I'll leave stacks of my writing for my children to peruse some day...after I am gone

And in reading them they will know what time and I made together.

my love for James Taylor

Music is a powerful force. It defines generations, inspires movements, cradles memories and touches the soul deeply. I have periods of time, phases in my life that have been marked by music. You know how it is when life events unfold and you realize that the music you listened to during that time becomes permanently marked by the emotions you were experiencing? Good or bad? 

One of the more defining times in my life was when I was newly divorced, raising my daughter as a single mom and discovering who I was. I was fiercely independent during this time....self sufficient in every way. My super hero powers at this time were my drive, my focus and the ability to love the moments that made up my days- I've never been more present in my own life. The soundtrack for my days was none other than James Taylor. He was a joyful thread woven into the bright and playful fabric that was my life. To this day I can't hear a James Taylor song without experiencing vivid memories of this time...my heart becomes so full and it's almost like I'm back in that space. Here are just a few things his music reminds me of:

1. dancing in my bathroom while putting on make up

2. dancing with my daughter while we cooked dinner

3. dancing- we just danced a lot during this time

4. driving my dark green Rodeo and noticing my clip on air freshener always needed to be replaced

5. trying to  shift gears in my Rodeo to the beat of the music

6. listening to Fire and Rain when I fell over the throw rug on my kitchen floor, swearing I'd replace it (but never actually doing it :)

7. feeling about as nervous as a girl could ever feel when getting ready to go on my first date in more than 10 years (gulp)

8. listening to James  en route to that date smiling to myself because I knew I was rocking my black sweater ;)

9. sitting in my brightly colored living room making a list a mile long of all the things I would accomplish- I can still see the doodled flowers I drew in the margins- there were winking smiling faces too

10. feeling completely at peace with the direction my life was moving

Do you have a certain artist or music that brings back strong memories of a special time in your life?

windows

"All the windows of my heart I open to the day."

~John Greenleaf Whittier

Wordless Wednesday ~ pure love